December 21, 2004

I went to the movies tonight. I used to absolutely adore going to the movies and I still take it quite seriously when I do go. But tonight I was reminded about what I don't like about going to the movies. Cell phones. One 'lady' had the audacity to not only leave her phone turned on so that it rang (twice) during the movie but she answered it and spoke AND she was sitting right behind me. Secondly, what's with coming to the movie late-I mean really late-after half the trailers for the new movies have played and then asking people who came early or on time, to move or shove down a seat. Good luck asking me because both my girlfriend's and my own 'imaginary dates' (read our coats and bags) were not about to give up our buffer seats on either side of us for latecomers in a theatre that still had lots of seats left elsewhere. Why sit right beside someone you don't know unless you have to or unless you have come to pick up and then I say, head to the freezer section at the grocery store.

Anyways, I saw 'Closer' and it sure makes you ponder a few things!

December 20, 2004

OMG

It's -33 C right now.

With the wind-chill it's -44C.

For those of you not turned on to the metric system, that's really freakin' cold!!!

Things that aren't working properly due to the insane cold include:

my brain, the windows (the ice is on the inside instead of the outside of the pane), the garage door opener, the garage door, my 'inhale' breath, salt and sand on the roads (black ice everywhere).

Glass 1/2 full stuff with -44C weather include:

a huge and powerful sun that is emitting some type of rainbow and glowing mirage that is called a moon dog, working drive-thru (starbucks, bank and fast-food), hubby's Mini Cooper Classic (started without being plugged in or left in the garage all night), people (the man driving in front of me, pausing due to a long line of traffic and gesturing to the man walking down this suburban street with naked ears and grocery bags in both hands and offering him a ride down the road-it made me smile and think of my dad and his hitchhiking tales from the 60's and 70's).

p.s. I have writer's freeze!

December 19, 2004

Tis the season.

Laurel's rules for the holiday season are:

Eat

Drink

Be Merry/Mary

Take a cab/camel

December 14/04

Below is a story that was written by a 10 year old. It is evident that the writer reads a lot and took time to edit this piece (comments by the teacher that I agree with). It received a high mark, accompanied by some comments that I don't agree with and almost feel are moderate forms of censorship. Along with all of the positive comments, the teacher did not feel that talking about picking one's nose, drinking and describing the character as acting girly, was appropriate for a school assignment. I'm not sure if the teacher just felt an obligation or sense of responsibility to adhere to some school board guidelines. But it didn't matter becauseI supported this bright child in his creative efforts and would not have him change anything.

Needless to say, the teacher did ask what I thought about the comments (knowing that I write) and he told her exactly what I said.Who knew that a short story assignment would result in this much learning?

Mike Wasowzki’s Halloween

Remember how I said I could go on and on about how stupid and girly Mike Wasozki is? Well, now I’m going to tell you about how stupid and girly he is on Halloween! What did he go out as? Will he get lots of candy? These questions will be answered…… right now!

As usual, Mike Wasowzki was planning on going out as himself this year for Halloween. He hadn’t realized that his face had grown more warts and looked like a giant wart with eyes. He looked in the mirror to make sure he looked good. ”MONSTER, KILL IT!” he screamed. He went downstairs, got his Dad’s shotgun and shot the “monster” in the head. “Never mind, I got it!” he yelled. Then the whole mirror exploded in a storm of glass. Mike’s giant flea father, angered by the sound of shattering glass, stormed up the stairs. When he saw what Mike had done, he became even angrier. “MIKE WARTSOWZKI-I MEAN MIKE WASOWZKI, YOU’RE GROUNDED UNTIL HALLOWEEN!” he bellowed. “But it is Halloween,” Mike protested. “Ok then you’re grounded until Christmas, after Halloween is over,” Mike’s father replied, in a very triumphant tone of voice. Mike swore to himself and went to his room.

That Halloween night, Mike went to put on his costume and then, realizing he didn’t have one, grabbed his bag and was off. He went to the first house and rang the doorbell. An aged woman answered. “Trick or treat!” exclaimed Mike. The old lady let out a scream of terror and slammed the door. Mike picked what was left of his nose and moved on to the next house. He rang the doorbell and a 4-year-old boy answered. “You need skin lotion!” he said in a cheerful but childish tone. He disappeared upstairs and returned with a tube of skin lotion. “My mommy says I’m gullible!” he said in his cheerful voice. “I don’t know what that means!” This gave Mike a good idea. “Hey, can you get me some toilet paper?” he asked. “Sure!” the boy replied. The boy went upstairs again and came back with toilet paper- 4 rolls of it, actually. Mike thanked the boy and headed toward the street with a smile on his face and a mission.

Mike stood in front of the old lady’s house momentarily before proceeding to toilet paper her house and yard. But as he was leaving, the police showed up. Apparently, the old lady had called the police and reported a monster trick or treating at her house. The police chief got out of his car and spoke into his radio. “Looks like the monster teepeed the old lady’s house” he said. Mike just picked his nose like nothing was happening and before he knew it he was picking his nose in the back of a police cruiser. “We’re bringin’ him to the JICM,” one of the policemen said into his radio.

The long ride to the Juvenile Institute for Crazed Monsters really made Mike crave a nice bottle of vodka. But there was no vodka waiting for him at the JICM. The place seemed empty, without any other monsters lurking in the cells. Mike was put in a cramped space just big enough for him to lie down. The police strapped him to the ground with metal cuffs. “Monster one has been dropped off,” the police officer mumbled into his radio. “Commence Japanese water torture.” For those of you who don’t know, Japanese water torture is where the victim is strapped down and drops of water are repeatedly dripped onto their head. Most people go mad if the torture goes on for too long. Will Mike escape the torture? This question will be answered……well, not right now anyway!

December 7, 2004

There's chocolate under my delete key...I'm usually so neat and tidy and quick to get rid of evidence when it comes to secret snack time from my private stash. I use a Mac and the keys are sort of see-thru white and while I can see it, I can't quite get to it. So, it sits there, under a protective layer and taunts me!

December 5, 2004

Has it really been ten days since my last post? I've wanted to write. Honestly. About lots of things. Like George W. Bush's visit to the nations capital that messed up rush hour downtown, on the highway and in the airway. Streets were closed and extra uniforms were flown and bused in to quell riots that never really happened but were highly anticipated. Only a few fistfights, one smoke bomb and a few arrests. Just like Canada, it was a polite way to deal with a situation.

I've also wanted to mention how important literacy is. So many people are 'functionally' illiterate-it's not even funny and I now know firsthand where it starts-at the beginning. With a, b, c's and the like. With four, five and six-yr-olds. Reading has always been so important to me and easy for me. Reading empowers because no matter what your lot in life starts out as and no matter what is taken away from you, reading can set you free. And I feel sorry for those that are trapped and can't read. I tutor at a local school for a program called Early Literacy. Kids are flagged as needing the scarce resource of one on one reading and if they are able to get into the program, they generally improve. I have already seen it myself with my first four students. It is surprising to have a six-yr-old who can't identify letters in thealphabet or the sounds that go with them. But it is also inspiring when they finally 'get it' and start to learn.

Go read a book, seriously!

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