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Thinking Twice About Doing the Right Thing

(first published in the Kanata Kourier on July 2, 2004)

Today I went to the playground with my daughter. We do this a lot. We pack snacks, something to drink and if we are really organized, we even remember to throw the sand toys in the trunk. When we get to the park we find a spot for our stuff, lather up with lotion and don a hat. Sometimes I play with my daughter but often I watch her play with the other kids. Many of life’s important lessons are learned on the playground and I want my daughter to participate fully in this mostly positive dynamic.

In these times, we accompany our children to the park until a much older age than our parents did because times have changed. And when we are at the park, we have to balance a close yet not overprotective eye on our children. Yes, we worry about falls from the first visit up the monkey bars, when coming down happens quicker than anticipated. High swings and ‘hold on tight’ are heard from the moms and dads doing the pushing. But in most cases, a kiss and a hug and maybe a band-aid for extra measure, is all that is needed to make the tears disappear.

Unfortunately though, not all things park-like are positive. Just a few weeks ago it was reported in the news that a stranger approached a young child in a park in Nepean. The child had been taught what to do around strangers and fortunately, this child yelled, scaring off the stranger as a relative came running. It can seem sad that we have to teach our children ‘park smarts’ at such a young age but as you can see by the story of this youngster, it is also smart.

The park was busy today. Nice weather, the end of school almost upon us and reports of rain later in the week probably contributed to the crowd. My daughter played amongst the other kids, sliding down the bumpy slide and the tunnel slide, climbing Spiderman rope ladders and swinging on the swing while I pushed her higher and higher until two other little girls came by. I watched them try to get on the swings and waited a few moments while they both struggled to get on. It was obvious that they needed a push and so I offered to get them started. And it was while I was offering to push them that I realized that they may see me as a threat or a stranger and not just another mom at the park. I was conscious of this as I gave them each little pushes while continuing to push my own daughter. Everyone was happily swinging on the swings until one of the little girls fell off. I heard a thud and ran over, pushing the swing out of the way of her head so that it didn’t hit her, while deciding if I should touch or move her. She didn’t seem seriously hurt and so I picked her up as she was still crying, intent on finding her mom and comforting her until I did but I could not help thinking about the ‘stranger factor.’ Would someone start yelling at me to put this child down? Would other moms and maybe some of the children think that I was a stranger in a negative sense? I was relieved that this didn’t happen. The mother seemed very thankful that I had helped her child and after I explained what happened, we both went our separate ways.

It could have gone another way though. I was a stranger to this child and with everyone’s safety vigilance at an all time high, I could have been put in an uncomfortable situation myself, just by trying to help. But I decided that the child’s comfort at that moment was more important. I took the chance and I am glad that I did. What bothers me is that I automatically thought that I could be perceived as a stranger, in a negative way. Am I getting paranoid?
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