Is There Even One Remote Possibility?

October 2, 2004 - Kourier Standard

by Laurel E. Anderson

Honestly. Tell me the truth. Is the concept of one remote per television even possible? Am I grasping at straws or in this case, small and rectangular handheld machines?

Have you seen one? It comes in black, silver and the vintage model, in brown. Usually rectangular in shape and sporting several buttons, it could be anywhere. On the table, the floor, the couch, the couch cushions, in the fridge (believe me) or the car. It has lots of numbers on it and families all across the city fight over it every night in the family room.

It’s the remote. Also know as the flipper, the clicker, the converter and the changer. And, it’s always missing. The one you need anyways. For example, if you just want to watch some good old-fashioned TV, you can only find the VCR converter and if you want to watch a DVD, you usually happen upon the stereo ‘changer.’ At least with the antique models from the 70’s, you could follow the cord that would ultimately lead you to that magic box.

Maybe what the manufacturers of these rectangles need to do is add a locater feature so that we can stop checking all obvious nooks, crannies and cracks and coming up empty. It would work similar to the cordless phone locator. Most come equipped with a button on the base, that when pushed, causes the handset to beep from wherever it is hiding. It’s like an ‘ollie ollie oxen free’ when playing hide and seek. You’d only need this feature on one remote because like in the game, once one is caught, all the others must surrender.

And this is what brings me to my point. Why do we need all of these things? A remote for the TV, one for the DVD, the VCR and another for HDTV and then there’s the dish or digital converter and the stereo clicker. And don’t try to solve my problem with the universal remote idea because when you lose that remote, it’s game over. Not only have you lost the ability to change channels from a seated position, you’ve also most likely lost the small fortune you paid for this toy.

A final fleeting thought before you, the reader, change the channel or in this case, turn the page. If it’s a universal remote, why can’t they add some other features to it? If I were able to custom program channels to fit my particular needs, I would convert (pardon the pun) and even line up to buy one. Mine would include a button for unloading the dishwasher, scrubbing a few toilets and walking the dog on rainy days.

I have to go now-go to watch some TV. Now where did I put the remote?
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